I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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