Define "chronic" masturbator.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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