So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
