I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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