then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
