Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
