So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
