i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
