i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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