And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
