We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
