You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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