Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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