lets start a swedish sibling band together
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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