Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Randomize
