so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
