it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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