if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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