How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
