thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
