I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
