Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Randomize
