HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
