I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
