so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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