no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
