Will you blow on my dice?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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