She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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