He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
