whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
