you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
