My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize