If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Can I color on your dick again?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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