Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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