i jhust puked up my retainher.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
