I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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