i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
