I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
