I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
