Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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