I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
