I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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