yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
