forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
