Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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