Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
