Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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