I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
