Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Randomize
