I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
