I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
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