dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
