Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
